Well… how do you even begin to explain something you don’t understand? It’s like your teacher let you recite what she discussed when you arrived late. Maybe I’m just too you or too dumb or too inexperienced. Maybe I needed more time – time to learn, grow, and understand all things that I needed to. Maybe I was playing when I said that I’m ready to face life being 21 and officially being an adult. Man, it’s hard. It always reminds me of that one post I saw online saying that being 18-24 is like playing an RPG about survival and you skipped Tutorial Mode. Guess I’m a fool.
In the land of Gods and Monsters, I was an angel living in the garden of evil
Lana Del Rey opens her song with much conviction that she needed to survive a world filled with many evils ruled by monsters and patriarchs who see themselves higher than anyone else. She was an angel. She was the light. She was herself.
In a land where many conservatives hail – where people choose to conform to out-dated norms – I was a rebel. I was a visionary. I am a surfer against the tides. I am me.
I was such a lost kid who was just trying to adjust and, at least, felt the need to belong to the city about 5 years ago. It was a long agonizing period in my life where I didn’t know just what to do yet. Did I have the need to just study? Did I feel the need to try new things? Did I feel the need to change myself in order to fit in? Did I feel the need to do what I love?
Yes. I did. Not all simultaneously but that long and agonizing period made me ask so many questions – too much emotions and thoughts bouncing within the lobes of my brain and back just waiting to find release. It was such a crisis that tormented me. But something good came out of it; whatever I felt during that time pushed me to do something I didn’t know was going to change my life. I decided to go back to what I love to do – what has always been there but got neglected: I wanted to write. Thank God for technology that I got through all that struggle in order to find myself.
I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote ‘til it was just free-falling. It was losing a sense of direction. I didn’t know where it was going. There was a voice that kept on telling me that I could do better.
Stevie Nicks didn’t really find her voice until she joined Fleetwood Mac. She used to be just a free-flying bird but when she joined the band, they created magic together releasing one of the best albums in all of history.
Like Stevie, I was looking for my tribe.
That was when Cebu Bloggers Society walked into the picture.
I don’t even know how to begin explaining the feeling when I got in. I didn’t feel like what I do with my writing was worthy of getting me that coveted membership slot – that some boy from the outskirts of the south like me could be in such an industry. But I was happy. This is my Fleetwood Mac.
At the remaining days before his twenty-first year, the creature called Last Supreme was feeling archaic and rustic. He, who was once very vigorous and full of spirit, whose unwavering enthusiasm for things was relentless, has now gotten sucked up into a whirlwind of numbness and a quicksand of dullness. “Is it the age? Or is it the circumstance?” he asked himself. “What could have been made differently in the past so I don’t have to end up like this?”
Life Update: Mentally and emotionally unstable but still trying.
Crossing that bridge between being a teenager towards being twenty has been a very transformative learning experience. Before 20, I learned so many things – the basics for survival as well as some values and principles – that came in handy as I faced even more challenging life circumstances. But as much as we try to equip ourselves with things we need, this warzone we call life always fucks us up with booby traps and plot twists we don’t always see coming.
For this episode of Where Did Kerr Go?, we will be unraveling where Kerr went in his recent out-of-town trip. But enough with the theatrics, let’s strip it down with some relaxed and chill vibrations just as how the Solea Mactan Resort staycation felt like.
After squeezing in a bit [and by bit, I mean, a lot] of schoolwork into my day, I felt as if I am really thirsty for a little getaway not too far from the city. It’s been months since my last beach trip and it is so because of the stressful school work and freelancing responsibilities. Regardless, I felt no regret because all the hard work paid off. Hence, I thought it would be great to clear up my weekend and give myself some time to unwind and, man, I really did!
We did it, kids! With Kerr got nominated for Best Style Blog at the Best Cebu Blogs Awards 2017!
The award-giving body was first established in 2008 with the intention of recognizing top performing Cebu Bloggers who continue to liven and mobilize the blogging startosphere in Cebu. After the nomination phase held last October, top finalists based on web scores and content criteria for each niche were chosen setting the countdown for awarding the best Cebu bloggers of 2017.