Ghost of the Past

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ctto / moodboard by me

Third grade and I was told that my foolishness will go back home to my body.

Aren’t we all haunted by the past? The mistakes? The failures? The regrets? Methinks so. One day your emotions would just hit rock bottom contemplating about  what ifs and what could have beens. How things would have ended up if you chose a different path. Would you have become a better person or not?

The agony, the cringe, and the sting crawl up from the roots of your callouses straight to the split ends of your hair. You just can’t forgive yourself for doing what has been done. You go home and hate yourself even when there are rainbows and the smiles around.

Something that’s been bothering is when I didn’t go back to one place when I had the time. I would have appreciated it more or instrumentalize my presence as an encouragement of not closing down for business. One day I just went in through the translucent glass door and find not even a spot of the place I used to know.

What if I went there a lot more? I would not have missed it now. But it’s gone now and I can’t do anything about it. And sometimes in our lives, there will come a point when we should stop asking what ifs and start to embrace what is.

This photo shoot was done last year during a spontaneous afternoon chill. This is one of my early amateur lifestyle shoots.

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Model/Stylist: Kerr Quevedo
Photographer: Renz Gaquit
Locale: The Chillage (now closed)

xx Kerr

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