So Long 2016, It’s Been Awkward

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Hello 2016, you have been quite a year.

Back at the end of 2015, I was telling myself, “You did great this year! Make 2016 your year. There will be trespasses but I know you can do it.” And I did, I made it through the year. In terms of owning it I can say that despite the green witches and ashy hurricanes along the way, I whooped quite decently. Maybe my past self wasn’t really particular on the degree and weight of the trespasses he was talking about. Oh, me.

The year’s first quarter was what I wanted it to be: happy, memorable, organized, and filled with social and academic clichés that weren’t so obnoxious. I was ready to face the remaining three fourths of it. Then April came. Dun dun dun!!! Philippine national elections flipped the switch. It was chaos here and there. It felt like the internet meme where a dog was sitting in the middle of a house fire having a callout that says ‘I’m fine’ but I wasn’t fine.

There I was declaring over all of my social media how humanity and rationality should prevail and yet, a quicksand of illogical puppies kept on swarming in, which eventually brought them their victory – one that is tearing the nation apart. To add to that, school has been a bitch.

I mean, it always has and it has always been but, as I’ve said, the weight of everything has just been really insurmountable. It was what I called the “Numbing Days” since all I did was just stand and submit to all the tasks thrown my way. And if there’s one thing I learned from that, it’s that I’m not the fast learner I thought I was. I somehow found out for myself that taking things slow seems more of my cup of tea.

Anyhow, good things still happened this year.

For starters, QUEEN SLAYER GODDESS LADY GAGA released LG5 in the manifestation of JOANNE which truly changed my 2016. As a musically-inclined person, being blessed with new music by my idol is always a holy experience. I can’t even begin to talk about how Joanne made me dance with its bops and moved me with its lyrical finish. 2016 quite sucked, but not the music.

Some awesome great people also graced my year with their talents and friendships. I have to say that I never talked to a lot of new people as I did this year. Maybe it has something to do with growing up but, mainly, I did it to get out of my comfort zone – that zone that reeks of megalomania and shady remarks. I recently discovered that it’s not always about yourself; sometimes you have to give people their moments to reveal themselves and decide whether keeping them in your life is a oui or a non.

Just an update, I still have no love life this year. I’m still busy working on my dreams and school and social climbing. I think that being deranged in relationships would get in the way of attaining what I want for my teen self. But I got to admit that it gets lonely, sometimes. And sometimes, my happiness is seeing couples fight in public. Although it doesn’t have to mean that I don’t have faith in happiness and relationships. I believe in love but I also believe that it is a series of chemical reactions in the brain so it can be controlled. Maybe someday. Not now. Definitely not in 2016!

I couldn’t be happier that this year is coming its narrow closing. Gosh, I can’t wait to welcome the following year with a new mindset and a clearer path to my goals in life – like surpassing Mark Zuckerberg or creating nuclear reactor prototypes. I just wish that 2017 will be like what socially and academically happened to me this year. Just deduct the political soap opera and the quintillion moments of being broke.

Farewell 2016, you’ve been polarizingly awkward.

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xx Kerr

Photos by Dior Villanueva
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